Ten weeks ago I started a new eating plan. It immediately threw me against a wall, punched me in the gut, and crouched in the corner of my office laughing as I begged for mercy. And that was only the first day.

Because my reaction was so extreme I won’t name the diet just yet. A hint: it’s the only peer-reviewed eating plan known to prevent and reverse heart disease without surgery, and has been proven consistently to do so over the last 25 years or so. It requires eating only plant-based foods, and even those are restricted. It ruthlessly eliminates oils, salt, nuts, and nut butter. Obviously no milk, eggs, meat, cheeses. In other words, all the fun stuff is gone, other than whole-grain bread, walnuts on occasion, and trace amounts of fruit juice and sugar used to add flavor to recipes.

By the second day, I was fantasizing about peanut butter and my sense of smell went into overdrive. When my wife sauteed up some shrimp, the smell was so nauseating I had to leave the house. When my kids opened the wrappers to their Halloween candy, I had to leave the room. I became irritable and stayed that way for hours at a time. I was not good company.

I knew it would be difficult for me. I’m 150 pounds overweight, and you don’t get that way being a casual eater. I’ve dieted many times before. All my other diets were common sense versions of the just-eat-less-but-balanced school. The documentation that this is the best way to reverse heart disease, reduce cholesterol, and eliminate harmful plaque buildup is compelling. I always viewed it as a last resort, hoping to achieve those ends by less rigorous means. I haven’t been able to, and I’m too old to keep fooling myself. So hardcore vegan no-oil diet, here I came. The bargain I made for myself was that I would slough off any obligations other than family if it came down to that.

It did, with near-disastrous results. More tomorrow, but I’m bringing this into the conversation to explain my long absence from this blog, an absence I am not proud of. More next time.